Yeah yeah…I know

It’s been forever since I blogged. Sue me. Life has been going on as it always does.  MT and I are (once again) back on speaking terms, so it hasn’t been all bad.

Weird stuff has been happening to me lately. The other day, while leaving the grocery store, this woman who was coming in the door looked at me and said “Oh my gawd! You are sooooo beautiful!” This took me completely by surprise. She wasn’t hitting on me, so get that idea out your head now, she was giving me a genuine compliment. And my only response was a stunned, “Thank you.” as I hurried my way out the door. I didn’t mean to be rude. It just caught me off guard.

At first I thought she was going to get an attitude with me because her daughter walked right in front of my cart (the girl looked about 9) to get to one of those gumball/toy machines and I said, in my auntie voice, “excuse me hon, watch out”. Not everyone appreciates you talking to their kid like they have some sense. She called her daughter back over to her, looked at me, and told me I was beautiful. Now, I happened to be wearing an old, worn out long sleeve tshirt, that used to belong to H before I commandeered it for myself, and a pair of jeans. No make up, nothing remotely “beautiful”. Just something I threw on for a quick trip to the grocery store.

On Saturday I got an IM from that guy I graduated high school with that keeps hitting me with cheap innuendo even though we’re both married. Normally when he IMs me I’m no where near the computer so when I do get the message I don’t bother returning it. Not that I want to talk to him anyway. But this time around I decided to suck it up and respond since I was actually there when he sent the message. The conversation was innocuous enough. The regular “how have you been? what have you been up to?” type questions. Then, out of nowhere he said, “U know ur the first chick that ever came n my mouth I know that way off of subject just a good memorie that poped n my head  sorry if I upset u wit not my intent” (sic)


I spent the next five minutes trying to convince him that we never did anything (at least I didn’t think we know I’m sure I’d remember something like that…I didn’t smoke enough weed in college to block out that much memory). He was stunned that I couldn’t remember and I was starting to feel bad. What if I did let him god down on me all those years ago? I mean it was about 10 years ago so I couldn’t really be blamed if I didn’t remember…but he remembered. Or at least he said he did. I still wasn’t sure it happened. I apologised and told him I meant no offense but if it happened, I didn’t remember. After that I had to get off the comp because H needed to use it.

While washing dishes a hazy memory came back. Not completely, but enough that I knew I wasn’t making it up because I felt sorry for him. I think he really did go down on me all those years ago. But, more importantly, I’m certain that I was completely unimpressed by his skills, which would explain why I didn’t remember. He sucked. I suddenly felt even worse now that I remembered why I forgot. How do you tell someone, “You’re right, we did do something, however you weren’t good enough to warrant remembering so I pretty much forgot it as soon as it was over”? What an ego crusher that would be! And while his cheap innuendo is annoying and almost insulting in their insinuations that I’d want to do anything sexual with him while we’re both married with kids, I don’t want to destroy the poor fellows self confidence. I might be mean, but I’m not cruel.



  1. Khaki Said:

    Yikes… that guy sounds like he could use a little cruelty.

  2. SheWhoMustNot BeNamed Said:

    Well, we were in high school at the time, so I can’t really fault him if he was inexperienced…

  3. jimsmuse Said:

    I had a boyfriend in school who apparently read in Penthouse Forum (or some other equally reliable authority) that if you stuffed your mouth with Tic Tacs and then went down on your woman it would drive her crazy.

    It did drive me crazy. But not in a good way. I’m not sure if I am happy to have been reminded of that traumatic experience, but remembering it sure made me laugh!

    And you ARE beautiful!

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