Posts Tagged ‘WTF’

Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit!

Tomorrow is The Kid’s 5th birthday and she told me weeks ago that she wanted to have a red cake with chocolate icing. I can do that. No problem. Except I don’t have a cake pan (I lent it to someone who moved). And I just found that bit of information out today. And I’m broke. So I shoot a message to the two local Free-Cycle groups asking to borrow cake pans.

No response, I can deal with. But this? This is too damn much

if i may make a suggestion………..if we give gifts throughout the year ….then we would be following our perfect model……Jesus …..because he talked about the traditions and doctrins of this system which are created be man and not by God himself………the question is: would you rather be doing things that come from your heart on any given day or by some one telling you…. it’s ony authorized on a certain day, the Bible tells us “A name is better than good oil, and the day of death than the day of one’s being born ” Ecclesiastes 7:1…..that’s why we don’t know the true birth day of Jesus because he said that was not important to one’s life………but what is……..what type of name did we make with God……..this wasn’t meant to offend you and if that is what you thought…….i’m truly sorry……..it was just a friendly suggestion to look real close at your Bible and see if you see the same thing……..do have a blessed day……vrsp kandi

Now, my knee jerk reaction was “Bitch, who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? You don’t know one damn thing about me and you presume to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do for my daughter on her birthday. Kiss the length and width of my ass.”

But I didn’t. I was a good girl.

1. I’m not Christian. My religion, or lack thereof, is not your business.
2. I just want to make a cake for my daughter. That’s all.
3. You have no idea what I do for my family on a day to day basis. So
you can keep all your self-righteous preaching. Until you LIVE my
life, you don’t COMMENT on it.

That was as civil as I could have gotten under the circumstances. I just wanted to make my kid a cake and you want to preach to me about Jesus? Yeah. No.

I know she said she didn’t mean for it to be offensive, but I find it VERY offensive. You know nothing about me, or my life and you want to tell me how to live it? Hell no.  Hell no and kiss my ass, fuck you very much.

Sorry for all the cussing but you have no idea how much stuff like this irks me. I asked to borrow a cake pan not for a fucking sunday school lesson.

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The Noggin Channel Scares Me A Bit

There. I’ve said it. And if you watched Nickelodian’s Noggin channel (it’s repository for Nick’s Nick Jr. content), you’d feel the same way.

While I do like Noggin much more than Sprout (PBS’s cable/satellite channel for children’s programming), the only show I like on Discovery Kids is Peep and The Big Wide World (I think I like the theme song, performed by Taj Mahal, most) and Toon Disney never finds its way onto my tv screen (Disney = Devil), there are a few shows that either scare me…or make me scratch my head.

I like a lot of Noggin’s programming. Backyardigans is my favorite (mostly because The Kid gets up and dances along with it), and I loooove Little Bill. Maggie and the Ferocious Beast; top marks. Oswald gets a vote from me too.

Then you have shows like Max and Ruby, which features two bunnies of the approximate ages of 3 and 7 (respectively) and their day to day adventures. What’s wrong with this? Max and Ruby have no parents. All their friends have parents, and there are adults who occasionally drop by, but Max and Ruby’s parents are never, ever, around. This leaves Ruby in charge of her little brother Max. They run errands together by catching the bus (I don’t even want to know how Ruby gets bus fare). They do have a grandmother, but she lives on the other side of town, which means taking the bus there too. Now and then Ruby mentions their mother, usually in reference to something else  to explain a situation (i.e. “Mother said we have to spend the day and Grandmother’s house.”). Beyond that, Max and Ruby are on their own. Don’t they have laws against that in their little bunny world?

Then you have shows like Franklin and Little Bear. For the most part, there’s nothing wrong with these shows. Maurice Sendak (Where The Wild Things Are) illustrated Little Bear so, really, you can’t put too much of a knock on it. And I actually do like these shows. The head scratching comes in when they start talking about pets. See, Franklin and Little Bear are largely centered around anthropomorphic animals, though Little Bear does feature two human characters.  I’ve never understood how animal cartoon characters can have pets. Isn’t that sort of akin to slavery? Franklin’s best friend is a snail, yet Franklin has been known to own a fish. Little Bear has a friend named Cat (who is a cat, duh), yet Emily, the human friend, owns a dog for a pet (the dog, unlike Little Bear and Cat, cannot talk).

Then there’s Yo Gabba Gabba. This show…it scares me. I can not express how much it scares me, but it does. If you have seen it, you’d be scared too. It’s like HR Pufnstuf toned down and without the (obvious) drug references.

It featurers five Pufnstuf-esque creatures that are meant to be like puppets manipulated by a “puppet master” named DJ Lance Rock, who is a skinny black guy in a bright orange, and very tight, jumpsuit, with an equally bright orange fuzzy hat and 80’s Run DMC style glasses. Part of me wanted to scream racism when I first saw the show. But I also knew that would be totally false. There’s nothing even minutely racist about the show. It’s just the fact that a skinny black guy clad, head to toe, in bright orange scares me for some inexplicable reason. The show features music, “dancing” (there are people in those suits, you really can’t call hopping from foot to foot while waving your arms wildly dancing…unless you’re white….KIDDING!), the occasional “guest” (Elijah Wood [HOBBITSES!] and Biz Markee have made appearances) and life lessons for the 3-5 year old set (like sharing, and not biting others).

One of their more disturbing skits deals with eating. One or all of the creatures gather around for meal time and start singing “There’s a party in my tummy!” and, out of nowhere, the food on the plate grow faces and respond “SO YUMMY! SO YUMMY!” They then call out the name of each food (or drink) before “eating” it. Once eaten you get an inside view of the creature’s stomach so you can see the food “partying”. I should mention that the food is completely intact, which means it was swallowed whole with no chewing involved. This includes items like chicken legs. The other day, while watching this show (actually I was walking by the tv while The Kid was watching it and was forced to stop and stare…there’s something about that show that makes you do that) I disovered one of the creatures actuall has THREE stomachs.

Inevitably, the creatures leave some bit of their food on the plate, and as they walk away the food begins to cry. The creatures walk back and ask the food why it’s crying only to get the reply “We want to go to the party! The party in your tummy!” (suicidal food?), and they are rewarded by being gulped down in the same fashion as all the other food was.

Don’t believe me? Watch this:

See what I mean? SCARY STUFF! Honestly, who the hell thought this was a good idea?

So, yeah…Noggin programming is scary stuff man.

Losers everywhere, take heart, Chris Kattan married a model

which means you can too!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080630/ap_en_ot/people_chris_kattan

NEW YORK – Chris Kattan, a former cast member of NBC’s “Saturday Night Live,” tied the knot with model Sunshine Tutt in Yosemite Valley, Calif., on Saturday, his publicist, Jill Fritzo, said Monday.

Kattan, 37, appeared on “SNL” from 1996 to 2003. His screen credits include “Corky Romano” and “A Night at the Roxbury.”

The couple became engaged on Christmas Eve 2006.

Cops shoot mentally ill man over FEMA trailer

WTF YO?

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) — A man fatally shot by police after a 10-hour standoff Wednesday had suffered with mental illness for much of his life, and it worsened in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, a family member said.

Eric Minshew, 49, ordered Federal Emergency Management Agency workers to leave his trailer when they arrived for an inspection Tuesday afternoon, according to accounts from police.

Later, police said he fired at them several times and was fatally shot after pointing a handgun at officers who tried to arrest him. No officers were injured.

Rosemarie Brocato, who lives about a block away from the house, said she had told police, “He’s sick. Please don’t shoot him. He needs help.”

The man had moved into the family home about eight years ago, with no money and no job, his brother, Homer M. Minshew III, said Wednesday. He survived the hurricane, but the family was awaiting government aid so they could either pay the house off or fix it up and sell it.

He suffered for years with mental problems that “got a lot worse after the storm,” his brother said. He felt his hopes of inheriting his parents’ home — a place he’d felt a strong connection to — diminish, he said. He owned a gun because he had gotten a job as a security guard, according to his brother.

“He had a lot of serious mental issues and would all of a sudden go off on a rant about the government, the local, state government, the feds and everything else,” he said. “He has some issues. He just snapped. Thank God nobody else got hurt.”

James Arey, commander of the police department’s crisis intervention team, said the man had not been treated and that the case “doesn’t have anything to do with Katrina.” Police did not officially release Minshew’s identity.

The trailer was near the family home on a block that appeared abandoned. Many houses have gone unrepaired since the storm, and have broken windows. Taped to Minshew’s front window were a USA Today front-page article headlined “Do you have a legal right to own a gun?” and a no trespassing sign.

The porch held a wreath, a cross and a plywood sign with “Jesus is my Messiah” in green paint. A car in the driveway had two flat tires.

Brocato said Minshew lived alone after the storm and that his short temper seemed to get worse. He seemed very lonely, she said, often stopping her to talk for a half-hour at a time when she passed his house.

“He just needed someone to talk to, I guess. I felt sorry for him,” she said.

The FEMA inspection was a first step toward reclaiming the trailer. The federal agency has been pushing to get residents out of trailers across the Gulf Coast, in part because possibly dangerous levels of the chemical formaldehyde have been found in many of them.

FEMA spokesman James McIntyre said the agency cannot release any specifics about the case, such as when the man got the trailer or whether anyone else lived there with him. The officers involved in the shooting have been reassigned to administrative duties during the investigation, said Officer Garry Flot, a police spokesman.

“This is a very unfortunate situation and our prayers go out to the family of the deceased,” he said.

Lakeview, one of the city’s more affluent neighborhoods, was under as much as 11 feet of water after the levee on the nearby 17th Street Canal broke during Katrina on August 29, 2005.

While it has been one of the fastest to recover, it is not without scars from the flood. Some trailers were still parked outside homes under renovation, schools and firehouses have been slow to reopen and there are many vacant lots where homes were demolished because of damage suffered during the storm.

——————————–

Because Katrina victims aren’t suffering enough from the neglect of their government, a man who was obviously disturbed before the storm and became more so afterwards needs to get shot over a damn trailer when the government hasn’t done a damn thing to fix his HOUSE?

Oh hell no.

Reasons to fear the fact that the fate of our world will be in the hands of today’s kids

Going through my RSS reader’s “recommended feeds” I came across one titled “Computer Class”. Now, I thought this was a clever title that meant something other than the obvious…no. It means just what it says. She’s blogging while in Computer class.

I saw a post stating that Wayne state university wasn’t the school for her…so I checked her profile and came across this little nugget of genius:

Why does the color blue mean raspberry-flavored?

It means blue because, berrys are blue.

*blinks, too stunned to say anything*

She’s 14 and wants to be an OB/GYN when she grows up. Dear God what I wouldn’t give to be a man in 15 years if just to avoid the chance of some how having her as my doctor.

That’s a little *too* close to home for my tastes

As a dedicated Second Lifer, I can appreciate that people build actual meaningful relationships on there (I’ve even seen a few that ended in marriage). However, relationships on SL tend to flare up and burn out in record time (I think it has something to do with the fact that there are four SL days to every RL day…basically a new day starts every six hours) so what seems like true love can very easily fizzle out in just a matter of weeks.

But, in the true entrepreneurial spirit of Second Life, someone has found a way to merge both SL and RL all while keeping your privacy. While strolling around OnRez (a website that allows SL creators to sell their wares off-world, and lets addicts like me buy when they aren’t able to get in world; it also helps when you’re feeling particularly lazy and you don’t feel like in-world store hopping and dealing with lag and rez time), I found this little beauty. The concept is simple enough: You pay L$15000 (about $57 US, depending on how the Linden dollar market is doing; at the moment $1 US equals just about L$265…nice to know the US dollar is worth something somewhere, isn’t it) to purchase flowers, candy, wine or jewelry, you give these gifts to your beau in-world, they fill out some information and the gift you gave them on Second Life gets sent to them in Real Life. All without the giver ever knowing the recipient’s address or other personal information.

On one hand, this is a really good idea. Starfruit is owned by a Swiss telecom company, so it has the funding and connections to do exactly what it advertises and it ships to nearly everywhere. So why do I feel apprehensive about this idea? Simply put, there are a lot of people who are married in RL (whether happily or not) and having these sorts of gifts popping up could lead to the end of some marriages. You’re already hearing cases about how sites like Facebook and MySpace ruined someone’s marriage (sure, blame a website, let’s just ignore the big pink elephant in the room that’s carrying the banner “YOUR MARRIAGE WAS ALREADY IN TROUBLE TO BEGIN WITH”).

Plus…I dunno…it seems odd to have the two worlds intersect like that. I have lots of SL friends, but I don’t know if I’d go through the trouble of meeting up with them. I’m not sure that I’d want to meet them. Why destroy the illusion? Tucked safely away behind the avatars, people are willing to be less inhibited. They are more honest with themselves and others. I know details about people’s real lives that they wouldn’t dare tell anyone short of a priest in a confessional. Seeing that person in real life would simply bring it too close to home for my tastes.

However…I do have a birthday coming up…maybe I can drop some hints to a few friends and see if they’ll send me something *grins*

Wait…WHAT?!?

Leave it to the military to come up with something like this. I’ll admit, some of their past projects have been cool (like the heat ray for instance…I still want one) and others have lent themselves to hours of gut busting hilarity (gay bomb anyone?). But this…this is just…*shudders*

According to Engadget, the Department of Defense is setting up research to look into regrowing body parts. You know, like some lizards and worms do.

Except humans aren’t lizards or worms. Well…some humans are worms, but not in the literal sense.

The DoD is obviously out to create a super soldier. They’ve already sunk money into research that will keep soldiers from feeling the effects of fatigue so they can stay in the field longer with less sleep (never mind those harmful results of sleep deprivation…what’s a little psychosis amongst friends). They’re also doing research on advanced robotic limb replacements that will have all the fine motor skills that real limbs do…and then some.

They’re going to do this under the cover of helping soldiers who have lost limbs or have been shot. But let’s face facts, since the end of the draft they’ve been having a hard time recruiting kids, and with the never ending war going on, they’re having an even harder time getting and keeping soldiers. So if your troops can spontaneously regenerate limbs (which, I have to admit, is cool in an “I used to read X-men and wish I was a mutant with powers” sort of way), then you won’t have to worry about shortages due to lost limbs. Of course this research could be used to create perfect-match organs for people desperately in need of transplants, but, and I’m just being honest here, that sort of technology would only be available to the richest of the rich who can afford it. The other 90% of people who need it will have to pray their insurance will cover it or hope that some charity will take pity on them and help.

Now, the part that really scares me (aside from the images from Terminator II-when the liquid cyborg kept regenerating himself after being shot in the head-that keep playing in my mind), is that this sort of ability is genetic. Salamanders don’t learn how to regenerate. They just do. It’s part of their DNA. For this sort of technology to be used in the military, they’d have to find a way to alter each soldier’s genetic structure, and hope that there are no unintended consequences (like a squid-soldier who has seven arms). Doing each individual as they come in would be costly, and inefficient. And while the government and military seem to only function when they are costly and inefficient, eventually they are going to start “testing” on the general public. Which makes me think that No Child Left Behind will become No Fetus Left Unaltered after a time. It will be voluntary at first, of course, but then it will become compulsory. Or worse, they’ll just do it without the mother’s permission anyway. She can’t say anything about it once the baby is here right?

Yeah I know, that’s worst case scenario, gloom and doom type talk…but let’s be honest, if they find a way to do this, it won’t be long before this sort of thing plays itself out. We’re a country where the vast majority of our tax dollars go to military spending (more than education and health care combined in fact). We are, essentially, a military state. Our only recourse, our only known way to assert our will, has been through force. Since the first settlers dropped anchor. Hell, since the Conquistadors dropped anchor. If we backed off our military spending, we’d eventually be seen as the paper tiger we are. If African countries got themselves together and organised, they’d make us their bitch (talk about reparations). Hell, eastern Europe could take us, as disorganised and that area is. So we have to keep spending. Making out military bigger, stronger, faster (and whatever else they said in the beginning of the 6 Million Dollar Man).

Can you see the snowball?

Ok, I admit, I sound like a crazed conspiracy theorist. And I’m honestly not. I just like seeing the pros and cons of things and this has a lot of cons. Like a lot a lot. It’s not like our government and military are renown for their ethics. Especially when it comes to the medical field.

Anyhow, I can’t see this sort of technology actually being usable anytime in the foreseeable future. And those ranting, raving, foaming at the mouth, ultra religious right wingers wouldn’t allow for experiments to be performed on embryos, especially not when it comes to tampering with DNA and genetics. They’d see it as playing God and would raise Hell (how ironic) like no one’s business. Huh…maybe they have a use after all.

News From the WTF Files

this sort of speaks for itself

SAGINAW — A 21-year-old who tried to pass off pancake mix as cocaine has been found guilty in the deaths of two men.

Matthew T. Deshone was found guilty of first-degree murder and firearms-related charges in the November 2005 deaths of Demario K. Sherman and Franscoir D. Shepherd, both of Saginaw.

Prosecutors said Deshone and an associate, 25-year-old Joseph Villarreal, had gone to Sherman’s apartment to sell him an ounce of the dry pancake mix. The Saginaw News says Sherman made a sudden move and a skittish Deshone shot him.

Saginaw television station WNEM says Deshone later shot and killed Shepherd, who had overheard him discussing the failed deal.

Defense attorney James Piazza argued that Deshone witnessed both slayings but that the men were killed by Deshone’s friend Freddie Williams, who himself was shot dead in July 2006.

Deshone will be sentenced to life in prison May 8. Villarreal pleaded guilty to two counts of second-degree murder and will be sentenced April 24.

No. For real. You gotta have absolutely NO respect for someone’s intelligence to think they’d believe pancake mix was coke. I’ve never personally seen, or touched cocaine in my life, but I sure as hell know Bisquick when I see it.

EDIT!

This one…this is some face-palm type stuff. I’m glad H doesn’t battle anymore.

DETROIT — Police are looking for a Westland man who killed a rapper this week after taking offense to something said during a rap contest.

The incident happened Monday in a home located in the 180000 block of Bradford on the city’s east side. Police say there was a rap battle, in which participants come up with insulting rhymes aimed at their competitors.

Police say 28-year-old Antoine Tramble became angry at something a 27-year-old rapper said, so he left the home and then returned with a gun. Tramble opened fire, killing the man, police said. The victim’s name has not been released.

Tramble then fled the home and escaped in a blue conversion van, investigators said.

Anyone with information is being asked to contact Detroit Police Homicide at (313) 596-2260; or the anonymous Crime Stoppers hot line at (800) SPEAK-UP.

I’ve had teachers I didn’t like, but DAYUM!

For some reason this was filed under Reuters “Oddly Enough” section. I can understand the ban on cosmetic castration for Thai “ladyboys” (I don’t suggest you google that term, just take it at face value), and I’m surprised that the story of a UK construction firm banning wolf whistling at ladies didn’t make it in there. But this, nah, this is not odd. This is scary.

Nine nine-year-olds in Georgia devised a plan to tie up, knock out and cut their teacher. Some came to school with handcuffs (parents, please hide your kinky toys better), electrical tape, and one came with a broken steak knife. They planned this for a week. A week! Nine year olds have the attention span of newt, but they managed to plan this in pretty deep detail for a week.

But what kills me (and nearly killed the teacher) is that it wasn’t two or three kids planning this, it was nine! That’s a pretty big chunk of your class that doesn’t like you. And given that nine year olds can’t keep their mouths shut to save their lives, you know other kids in the class knew too and didn’t say a word. So even the students that weren’t in on the plot didn’t like the teacher enough to warn her/him.

Kids these days have some brass balls I tell you. We just put thumb tacks in their seat. They’re looking to eliminate the problem all together.

The Problem Of Finding Old Flames

Or: Why Facebook is making me rethink attending my class reunion next year.

I was happy when Facebook opened it’s doors for everyone to join. By time the site popped up I had already been out of college for about two years and they had deleted my email account, so there was no way for me to sign up and find old classmates (and I was really getting sick of that ripoff, bullshit site classmates.com). But as of late I’ve been going through great pains to avoid Facebook like the plague.

Part of the reason, aside from now having way too many annoying tweens in it’s population, is that an old high school crush has popped up. Initially I was happy to have found him. Aside from crushing on each other, we were also good friends and we hadn’t talked since graduation. No one knew what had happened to him, so naturally I was worried he had fallen victim to the city’s undertow. I greeted him with all the joy that one would an old friend they hadn’t seen in ages. He greeted me with cheap innuendo.

“We need to hook up so we can settle some unfinished business ;).”

That got an immediate WTF look. There was no way he could have looked at my profile and saw I was married with a kid. But he had. He even acknowledged that I had a kid. Oh, and did I mention that he’s married himself? Yeah. With two kids. Now add to that the fact that he is not cute in the least bit anymore. Ok, the fact that he’s married with kids takes obvious precedence over the fact that he’s not attractive anymore, but still. He was talking a lot of bullshit like he was Ralph Lauren’s newest undies model. I had to question if my Facebook page exuded that sort of desperation that I’d be willing to “hook up” with a married man that I hadn’t seen in nine years just because we crushed back when we were teenagers.

It doesn’t, in case you’re wondering.

He sent me a message the other day. “Hola @ me girl we need to hook up U have a beautiful daughter hola Yup!”

No. He’s not Latino. That’s not hola as in hi, that’s supposed to be “holla”. Yes, he really does type  like that. Damn near 30 and his Facebook and Myspace pages are full of writing just like that. It burns my eyes I tell you. BURNS! And yes, he has, again, acknowledged that I have a daughter. He left out the fact that I’m married.

I wrote back, dryly telling him that I really don’t use Facebook anymore.

wut up I just got ur reply oh ur not on facebook well wut about yspace did u have a chance to add me to ur friend list? Here r the links again just n case u forgot them (edited) U should be able to find me up under one of these. So Y arnt u on facebook that often any more? I would love to see u n person again one of these day’s u know lol. Where do u live now I may just have to “cum” and scoop u up or sum’n. Anyway Hola back when u get this u know where I’m @ =)

*gags and vomits* Do women really fall for this bullshit?  I mean women who aren’t mentally disabled. OK, there’s no way in hell I’d add him to my myspace friends. Why? Because H is on there for one, and two he seems to not care that I am married (he seems not to care that he’s married) so God only knows what bullshit he’d put on my comments for all the world to see. And can we talk about him using “cum” as opposed to “come” like it’s actually clever? Men, take note, that shit is corny. It’s corny and it REEKS of desperation. Does he really think that in nine years I have not moved on from the crush I had on him and that I’d actually be willing  to put my marriage at risk for one night of, most likely, very disappointing sex?

I tell him that I moved from Detroit when I got married back in 2002 (I made a point of stating what year I got married). His reply ignored the fact that I even mentioned being married (hell even former lovers I’ve bumped into on facebook have congratulated me on being married…even if they didn’t mean it, they said it) and repeated his desire for us to meet up for some stupid tryst.

Thing is, I really don’t know how to tell him that a single snowflake has a better chance in Hell than he does trying to get me into bed, without saying that a single snowflake has a better chance in Hell than he does trying to get me into bed. The wrong response will put him on the defensive and he’ll start claiming that he was joking (riiiiiight that’s why he keeps bringing it up *rolls eyes*) and that he wouldn’t put his marriage at risk for me.

I’m not saying I’m hot shit. I’m not. But I’m not so damn ugly (actually I’m not ugly at all thank you) or so desperate (I’m not desperate either) that I’d be willing to just fall for that lameness. He’s bumping up against 30. He’s married with two kids. And yet he has no clue how to approach a grown woman. This is why people need to stop going to clubs to meet people. It’s hard to detect bullshit over those blaring speakers, and so it makes the bullshitter think that what they’re saying is actually clever and cute.

Ah well…*continues to avoid Facebook*

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