Archive for The Smoking Gun

No! No! No! No! NO!

This is NOT what the first amendment was written for you shit for brains moron! The First Amendment was written so you wouldn’t be locked away for criticizing the government. It was not designed to protect hate speech. It was not designed to protect “artistic expression” (read: pornography; no the two are not mutually inclusive, but there are people who defend porn by calling it an artistic expression; and while I don’t begrudge people their personal kinks, let’s call a spade a spade and stop pretending there’s anything “artistic” about bukkake). And it most certainly was NOT designed to defend your stinking little brat because he doesn’t like his principal. More over, calling a 43 year old man a “child molester” (I’m guessing the pre-pubescent idiot didn’t know how to spell pedophile), is not youthful fun and games. There is nothing funny about calling someone a pedophile.

But I’m getting ahead of myself…Read this:

FEBRUARY 21–The parents of an Ohio boy who was expelled this month for creating a phony MySpace profile that described his middle school’s principal as a child molester have filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the 13-year-old’s free speech rights have been violated by education officials. Toader and Marianna Osan claim that their son (who is identified only by his initials in U.S. District Court filings) was improperly booted from the eighth grade at Hillside Middle School in Parma after educators learned of the boy’s creation of a MySpace page for principal Jeff Cook. The MySpace profile, which was headlined “Your Princeypal,” did not carry Cook’s name, but it included his photo and identified him as the Hillside Middle School principal. The since-removed profile, an excerpt of which you’ll find below, listed Cook’s general interests as “giving students anal” and “jacking off in my office,” and named his heroes as Michael Jackson, Adolph Hitler, and Saddam Hussein. For his vulgar online handiwork, “M.O.” was first suspended, and then, on February 7, was informed that he was being expelled (for “malicious harassment”) until June 10, effectively the end of the school year, according to a court filing. His parents argue that students “disrespecting teachers outside of school is an age-old tradition, and one from which teachers neither need nor deserve protection…It would be naive to think that even the most popular principal is not the subject of student ridicule and parody.” The Osans are seeking their son’s immediate return to school and a judicial order protecting his off-campus speech, which previously included the observation that Cook had an affinity for the Purple Penetrator, a sex toy.

(Swiped from The Smoking Gun)

See what I’m talking about? But then I guess you can’t expect much from the child of someone named “Toader” (boy their parents must have hated them…or he was a FUGLY baby…possibly both). This is like those idiot kids out in Belleville, MI who had MySpace page showing them holding “fake” guns (that looked real) and “fake” drugs (oregano in a baggie anyone?), and talked about a big gang fight going down in front of the school. Stupid little bastards got expelled and the parents wanted to cry racism. GTFOOHWTBS. All these parents need to be publicly flogged and their kids sterilized to stem the spread of their own particular genetic stupidity.

Yeah…I know…that sounds harsh. But I’m in a harsh mood. And I can say what I want anyway…I’m protected by the First Amendment. Remember?


*slaps forehead*

(Swiped from The Smoking Gun)

FEBRUARY 5–A 19-year-old man was arrested Sunday night for singing the lyrics to a profane rap song as he walked on a Florida street. Christopher Holder was nabbed after a woman complained to police that her two children (ages five and 14) heard Holder repeatedly reciting the words “mother fucker,” according to a Hernando County Sheriff’s Office report, a copy of which you’ll find here. When questioned by deputies, Holder “immediately began arguing that he did nothing wrong,” and explained that he was merely covering a song by Louisiana rapper Lil’ Boosie, whose most recent album, “Bad Azz,” includes cuts like “My Nigga” and “Fuck You.” But Holder, pictured in the below mug shot, added that he “agreed that he did not believe children needed to hear language such as that being hollered down the road.” Holder was charged with disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor.

Ok….10 points to the person who can guess what our Boosie spouting friend looks like…

If you guessed geeky white boy….


You saw that one coming a mile away didn’t you?

Mysteries of human physiology

So Lil’ Wayne got pinched last week on (surprise, surprise) a felony drug possession charge…and, of course, The Smoking Gun got the mug shot.

Now, I’ve never really paid that much attention to Lil’ Wayne or his looks. I knew what I needed to know: he’s black, from New Orleans, he’s got more tattoos that a little bit, and he’s got locs, and, for reasons unfathomable to me, women seem to fall all over themselves for him. But TSG’s mug shot made me look a little closer.

Ok…first question: WTF is that on his forehead? Is Lil’ Wayne taking a page out of the Charlie Manson book of tattoos?

My second question: How the hell do you manage to get your neck wider than your head? Wayne’s neck look like it’s about to swallow his head. For real, what the hell sort of steroids do you take to get a neck like that?